Hmmm...

Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to live a real life. A life full of meaning where I'm doing things I like and I have a plan for the future. The only problem is I don't and I feel like I'm pretending I do. I need to get out of this funk, but it's a little overwhelming right now. I want to change my job but I'm not sure if I should. I haven't figured out what I really want to do with my life. My brother is moving away and my best friend at work is leaving to do what she wants to do. Today I went to the doctor and was naked while he and a medical student examined me in that weird, detached, I'm not here way that doctors sometimes do. I'm tired of working with people who have nothing in common with me on such a grand scale I previously thought it impossible.

I have an talk/interview with another group at work coming up next week. I'm also going to talk to the big boss to get some advice on the whole mess. I had an omen today when I heard on the television "Brave men do not live forever, but the overly cautious never live at all". It's somewhat of a cliche, but I'll take what I can get the way today has been.

For some reason, I'm thinking about the "Shawshank Redemption" where Red is talking about Andy's escape and he says something like "His presence was like a pretty caged bird and it made me happy, but in the end, I knew seeing him free was the right thing to do". It's frightening to me that I'm using metaphors from a prison movie to relate with my work experience.